I never understood parents that hold their child from going to an out-of-state college.  Even if it was a prestigious college!  I’m lucky to have parents that support me all the way with whatever I want to do with my life and guide me away from making bad decisions.  I snap and break sometimes, but Mama and Papa never give up.  And I’m so lucky that they understand me.  I can be open with them and tell them anything at all.  My parents are the best.  Most of the time, I fail to acknowledge how great they are.  I’m lucky that they care.  Because some parents don’t.

Relationships are simple.  There’s nothing complex about it.  A relationship can go two ways:  either you guys break up or get married.  And if you’re not ready to get married, don’t get into a relationship… unless you enjoy the breaking up part.

Relaionships are about honesty (trust), communication, commitment, and respect.

COMMUNICATION is the key to a healthy relationship.  The only way for the relationship to work is for you both to feel the same way.   Talking with the person you love is a good way to know whether or not you both feel the same way about the relationship.   Ask each other questions like:

• “Do you see us getting married?”  
• “Do you see us being together for a really long time?”

Of course, it’s easy for the other person to lie.  But that’s where HONESTY comes in.  If you don’t talk about it, chances are, you’ll never know if they feel the same way.  Simple as that.  They may see the relationship as a fling and something that is just for the moment.  You might see it as a long-term commitment ‘til death do you part.  And once the other person finds out you are in it for the long run, they’ll bail when you least expect it.  So make sure to clear up any misunderstandings, because you never know what you’re getting yourself into.

TRUST.  This word is self-explanatory.

RESPECT.  If that person really loved you, s/he would not try to change you.  It’s all about understanding that everyone is different.  You guys aren’t always going to agree with each other and the key to a healthy relationship is to be okay with the fact that s/he might not like ketchup or like the same music.  People think you have to be similar and have a lot of things in common with each other.  No, it’s okay to have differences.  It’s all apart of being human.  To be honest, people who are completely different make a great team.  For example, my boyfriend is good at negotiating with people.  Like say we were to buy a house or a car.  He knows how to be assertive and knows how to make deals and such.  I’m terrible at being assertive and negotiating.  I just sit there and sign papers lol.  We complete each other.  My boyfriend is terrible at cooking.  I am decent at it.  We complete each other.  We accept each other’s differences.  Of course we argue all the time, but that’s natural.  People disagree with each other.  That’s life.  Most of the time, we know when and how to avoid it.

Last but not least:  COMMITMENT.  For the love of God, if you cannot stay with that person for as long as you live, then do not say you will and lead them on.  If you want to have fun, bang the entire Earth, and not fall in love… then find someone who feels the same.  Find someone who “wants to have fun” and “is too young to fall in love”.

If you want to be the person who is anti-relationship and just wants to bang the Earth, then make sure you clear it up with the person that you’re about to bang that you’re not interested in a relationship.  If that person is okay with it, then fine.  Go spread your AIDS.  But chances are, one person is going to fall.  That’s just how oxytocin works.  Look it up.

Relationships are simple.  There’s nothing complex about it.  A relationship can go two ways:  either you guys break up or get married.  And if you’re not ready to get married, don’t get into a relationship.  PERIOD.

I have an interview next week.  I’m scared, nervous, and anxious at the same time.  Anxiety = I have to take a massive poop right about now.  Hopefully they don’t look me up online and see my Tumblr.  Seeing as I am VERY VERY vulgar.

Good thing I’m professional when it comes to jobs.  If it wasn’t for my workaholic parents and sister, I would’ve never known the proper way to interact with people and filter what I say.

I’m more nervous for my hair, though.  Might have to dye it back to black.  *Sigh, it’s okay.  I’ll do whatever I have to do to make money.

A lot of people are confused as to why President Obama waited so long to say he supported gay marriage.  One person posted this:

I see people all over praising him for finally standing up in support of it. Regardless of how you feel about the issue, do not be fooled. Obama is willing to do anything to be re-elected, and gaining the support of the gay community is one way. If he truly supported gay marriage, he would have announced it sooner. Let’s be honest, he has had 4 years. Very convenient of you, Mr. President.

When I went to go get my cast off my foot, I had a brief conversation with the nurse.

Nurse:  So tell me about yourself.
Me:  Well, I just turned 17.  My singing voice resembles every female singer there is.  It’s quite uncanny.  My best friends are my mother and my boyfriend.  I’m home-schooled and play video games all day… I also love to—
Nurse:  Oh you poor thing… no social life… giggle

Nurse walks out of room.

Me:  …

And that’s how the conversation ended.

With all do respect, Ma’m, I love my life.  Who are you to call me a ‘poor thing’?  Fuck you.  If I was a bad person, I’d remember your name and report you for insulting a patient.  You are so lucky I was the person you had a conversation with.  You are so lucky, lady.  Bloody piss off.  I reckon you have so much money, yet you can’t find anything that makes you happy to save your life.  Balls to you.

Fuck you for calling me a poor thing, because I’m far from poor and I am not a thing.

I look forward to all the people who will rip the originality from me and change the source on that brilliant statement that I just released to the rest of humanity.

Don’t.

Or I’ll turn into the Hulk and smash all of you mentally.

If you don’t speak sarcasm, I’ll speak English.

I just posted something that will, essentially, get a lot of likes and people will take my brilliant mind as their’s.

Fuck you in advance.

Only I will laugh equally as hard every time Hulk punches Thor.  Only I.

Narcissism at its finest.

Oh Hulk, you so funny.  I can have you punch Thor over and over again; I will laugh equally as hard every time.

Clay Cane of BET.com on The Avengers movie:  ”There are also the fans who rage in the comments, as if men in spandex are as serious as war and the economy. Is there a defensive euphoria in seeing your childhood heroes come to life? Is ‘The Avengers’ a great film? No. Will people love it? Yes!”

Chrystine Marie Miranda of FuckYouClayCane.gov on Clay Cane’s critique on The Avengers movie:  ”That’s what makes a movie A MOVIE… it doesn’t always have to be “serious” and “important”.  That’s the beauty of fiction. I don’t see anything wrong with comics and superheroes. Making movies about fictional characters doesn’t propose a danger to society. Now if you’re insinuating that Marvel fans are uneducated and not concerned about the affects of war on society or the economy, you’re very wrong. The point of entertainment is that we can all relax our minds away from the things that “are serious”. With all do respect, sir, go do something fun for once.”

This is why the Russians hate us.  Because we do things like make horror videos based on their incidents.  I don’t want to live in America anymore.  That movie is completely offensive to people who are actual victims of the Chernobyl incident.  I am disappointed in Warner Bros.

Nothing angers me more than one of my former-best friends complaining about how “fat”, “pale”, and “ugly” they are.  You insecure piece of shit.  You’re not fat.  You never were and never will be.  Or actually, if you keep up with what you’re doing (you know, dousing yourself in alcohol and eating the junk food you eat), you eventually will be.  You’re not that pale.  It’s hardly even a problem if you’re paper white and you’re not even close to paper white.  Tanning = more prone to skin cancer.  You’re not ugly, because obviously, you’ve been getting hit on by every fucking male organism that has ever crossed paths with you.  The more you call yourself that, the more people will believe it.  You already believe it is, so… I don’t even know what to say about that.

you piss me off.

And you wonder why I don’t go back to school.  ’Cause I have to hear all your bloody bickering about your imperfect appearance.  Like how the fuck is that supposed to make me feel about myself?  This is why I distance myself from you guys.  I feel like I HAVE to live up to those expectations.  Luckily, I got out of it… in an unfortunate way.  The surgery was partially a blessing, because I could have become the Chrystine who was obsessed with “bettering” her appearance.  Like they say:  Birds of the same feather flock together.  I’m glad I snapped out of it before it was too late.

The fucks I give are minimal if they befriend me after reading this.

I think I’ve offended way too many people in the span of my existence and, essentially, mortified myself with every weird babble that came out of my mouth.  And they tell you to live life with no regrets.  Really?  Is that even possible?  When every single day, every last thing I’ve ever said that left me embarrassed and hated haunts me.