Loyal.  Committed.  That’s how I’ve always been.  And no one can change that.  I’m a one-man woman.  That’s how I was raised, that’s how I do.  I’m laughing my ass off at how people fail to break me and think I’ll give in.  Trolled mother fucker.  Get fucking wrecked!!!

It’s just funny when I mess with people and they begin to think I’m giving in.

*Sigh, I’m so mean lol.

Babe, you taught me well.  I only learn from the best.  You and I versus everyone else.  The best “twos” team ever.  I can’t wait to level up with you.  Remember, babe, when life gets harder — it just means we leveled up.  We’ll wreck the world!  Just you and I.

MooKittyTank loves Kipzz.  In the cheesiest way possible!

Sometimes, we take each other for granted.  Busy lives.  Taking jobs.  But everything we do is for each other.  He hates mushrooms.  I like them.  He’s assertive.  I’m not.  He’s muscley.  I’m scrawny.  He sucks at cooking.  I’m decent.  He’s as tall as the sky.  I’m as short as the ground.

We complete each other.

Walking with each other, you’d think we’d never match at all — but we do.  <3

This is for you, babe.  All for you.

Who could ever ask for more?

This is ridiculous.  Why am I still here?  Why am I not doing something to get money and fucking take the next flight to Chicago?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Why am I still here?  Get me out of here.  There’s nothing wrong with being here.  I like being home.  But right now is not the time.  I have to see him.  Today.  It’s my fucking birthday and I need to be him.  Fuck you, distance.  You’re fucking always in the way.  Always in the fucking way.

I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you.  Before I sleep, my mind goes into this state on its own.  I don’t know how I do it.  It’s not a dream, because I’m not asleep.  But I just start hallucinating.  I get “high” off the love that we have.  It’s amazing.  I can’t explain it.  Morphine (prescribed lol) was crazy.  Weed was crazy.  But damn.  I just start to think of you and I just feel so relaxed.  All my problems and worries — fucking gone.  My insides warm up.  I get a tingly sensation in my fingers… and throughout my body.  I just think of us being together.  I think of us clutching each others bodies back in December.  So close.  Never letting go.  And tears just start pouring out of my eyes at the thought of that.  I’m crying my ass off right now.

I’ve never fucking loved anyone as much as I fucking love you.

I’m going crazy.  I’m high on love and I am fucking loving it and you.

You’ve asked me to marry you multiple times.  We’ve cried and threw tantrums together.  You came here for my surgery and we took showers together.  We slept together.  You flew back home.  And we were back on Skype.  Since then, we’ve been inseparable.  Spent every waking moment together.  We argue.  About stupid little things and make up a minute later.

Love is an understatement.  What we have is more than what meets the eye.  It is tangible and intangible.  It is everything we’ve ever wanted.  What we have is beyond anything anyone has ever imagined.  From your blue eyes to your tiny smile… from your big arms to you talking in your sleep.  I can’t even begin to think what my life would be like if you weren’t in it.  Apart of it.  Just it.  You are my life.  As cliche as this all sounds, I mean every word.  Every syllable enunciated with perfection, so that every heart that reads this will know.  I want the whole world to know.  Although they may not see what we have as anything special, because from the outside, it looks familiar.  Similar to others’ relationships.  But they don’t know anything at all.  This is different.  This is something they all should be jealous of.  This is beyond anything and everything.  This is not a biased opinion.  I’m not saying this just because I’m apart of this thing we have.  If I saw this from another point of view, I would be jealous.  I would want this.  And the fact that I really do have this… the fact that this is mine and I share it with you… it’s surreal.  No, it’s not surreal.  This is no where near a fantasy.  It’s unbelievable like a fantasy.  But it’s not a fantasy.  This is real.  I can feel it.  It takes over me.  And I am calm.  And when I am overcome with that feeling, I feel that I can be compassionate towards the everyone.  Anything.  Even the evil.  I feel that I can be nice to everyone and everything.  A spider.  A mosquito.  A murderer.  (Okay maybe not a murderer.  Definitely not a murderer.)  A blanket.  A water bottle.  Happiness at its finest.  Not just happiness.  There is really no fucking word in the world… no word in any other language… that can explain how I feel.

I fucking love you.  I wish there was a more powerful word than ‘fucking’ and ‘love’.

I can’t wait to be with you.  To have and to hold, from this day forward.  For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness (God-forbid) or in health, to love and to cherish, never will we part.  And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.  These words need not be said at an alter in front of family and friends.  A paper that is filled out to submit to the government does not make us official.  We’re married.  Fuck the system.

Sincerely,

Chrystine

He’s probably sick to his brains of me being so scared about us losing each other to everything that stands in between us.  Those things that aren’t our fault.  Like parents’ decisions and money.  And distance.  And time.  And waiting.

Distance isn’t shit, though.  He’s only a 2-hour difference and a 4-hour non-stop flight away.

You can’t blame me for being so scared.  We’re both strong, but I’m just paranoid that these things could easily rip us apart.

We’re both strong enough to wait, if we have to.

But fuck, it hurts so much knowing I can’t see him everyday.

Fuck.  I was so scared this morning.

1.  It was fucking raining.  Bitch ass fucking rain.  I love you when I’m alone, but when I have guests, I fucking hate you.

2.  We got lost.  And I felt like shit being the one who lived here all my life and couldn’t find my way.

3.  It seemed like at some parts of the day, they weren’t really enjoying themselves.  So I feel like shit not making reservations to places and planning shit better.  But what can I do?  I didn’t know what they wanted to do.  I didn’t know what they had in mind, so I couldn’t make reservations.  And I couldn’t plan things better.  So I thought we could just spontaneously think of something and things would go fine.

But honestly, things DID go fine.  I’m happy.  But it could have been better.

I feel like shit and I feel so bad.  Sucks being 16, no job, no permit, just a fuck load of Andrew Jacksons and small annoying red Corolla.  I could have done a better job.

I just need to enjoy my time left with him, because the more I worry about this shit… by the time he leaves for home, I’m going to regret not giving a fuck about that shit.

But what kind of person would I be if I were to just not give a fuck?  I’m not like that at all.  I want them to have a good time.

I’m praying my ass off tonight for a better day tomorrow.

Today, I finally met the love of my life.

He’s fucking here.

one more fucking hour and he’s here.